2011年5月18日 星期三
Contrasting - 1
Jordan and I are looking for an apartment to share near campus on the Net. We find two apartments meeting our main require but there are some differences between them. First of all, Fairfax Apartment has two large bedrooms, but CAMPUS APTS has only one bedroom . Unlike CAMPUS APTS, Fairfax Apartment is not only air conditioned but also furnished. In addition, pets are allowed in CAMPUS APTS. However, it is not allowed in Fairfax Apartment. Finally, Fairfax Apartment rents for $1250 a month, whereas CAMPUS APTS only rents for $900 a month. After considering for a while, we decide to choose Fairfax Apartment because it has enough bedrooms for us and we don't have to worry about the furnish. The most important result is that pets are not allowed in Fairfax Apartment, so we can have a quiet environment.
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這篇很好喔!!!
回覆刪除很流暢~概念也十分清楚~
讀起來很舒服呢><
Unlike CAMPUS APTS, Fairfax Apartment is not only air conditioned but also furnished.
這句前方可加一些副詞等等...(我只覺得這裡怪怪的)
後面寫出的結論也很不錯~~~
有把最終結論做出來=)
下次我也要偷學XDDDD
In addition, pets are allowed in CAMPUS APTS. However, it is not allowed in Fairfax Apartment.
回覆刪除這裡的it 是指pets的話,they are not allowed~~
After considering for a while, we decide to choose Fairfax Apartment because it has enough bedrooms for us and we don't have to worry about the furnish.
furnish是動詞唷,應該是furniture
The most important result is that ~~
result是結果唷,這樣句子怪怪的
其他還不錯
第二行 main require --> main requirements
回覆刪除The most important result --> reason 可能比較好吧
大部分都還不錯喔
若能在每一點之後加上一些敘述會更棒喔:D
句子還滿流暢的
回覆刪除如果再加一些選擇這間公寓的理由或影響會更好
文章很順暢喔
回覆刪除如果再加上一些匴則的小因素會更好:))
After considering for a while, we decide to choose Fairfax Apartment because it has enough bedrooms for us and we don't have to worry about the furnish.(Furnish打錯了吧~應該是furniture喔)
回覆刪除The most important result is that pets are not allowed in Fairfax Apartment, so we can have a quiet environment. (result放在這邊怪怪的~應該是要放原因吧XD)
整篇流暢度還不錯=>