2011年6月9日 星期四

Discussing Effects - 2 (Acton)

Acton is a small town in the Midwest.  It has a population of 2,500.  It is a safe, quiet, and clean place to live.  Most of the people have lived there all their lives and know each other very well.  The town has not changed very much in the past 100 years.  As a major for twenty years, I have made every effort to make this town more advanced.
  Last month, Stanley Manufacturing decided to open a large factory in Acton.  I am excited about the positive effects the new factory will have.  First of all, it can bring the small town more job opportunities so that the economics of the small town will be better.  Secondly, if the resident had money, they could buy more modern and novel things.  Therefore, their living quality will be advanced.  Finally, more jobs can absolutely attract people and the town will be more bustling.  To sum up, I consider it a good idea to open a factory in this small town and it is bound to bring a lot of good effects to this town.

8 則留言:

  1. As a major for twenty years
    是mayor吧XDDD ((major不過是成年人,不能做什麼重大的決定啦XDD

    Secondly, if the resident had money, they could buy more modern and novel things.
    能活下去更重要// Secondly, if the resident had money, they would lead a better life,even buy some modern and novel things.

    市長加油喽XDD

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  2. As a major for twenty years, I have made every effort to make this town more advanced.=>你的立場是......市長喔~原來如此XDDD
    job opportunities 喔喔~終於看到有人寫這個了~呵呵~

    Therefore, their living quality will be advanced.=>quality of living簡稱QOL^^D
    bustling用的很好耶=))
    同上~市長加油ˇ

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  3. economics of the small town
    不用s喔~

    I consider it a good idea
    是it is a ~才對喔=)

    這篇真的很棒~
    清楚明瞭~舉例和補充也很完整~
    我喜歡這篇><

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  4. 倒數第五行的resident要加s喔
    然後第一行的那3句之間加一下連接詞會比較通順
    其他的寫得不錯

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  5. I have made every effort to make this town more advanced.-->
    I have made every effort to make this town be more advanced.
    很順暢~但是還是建議文章可以加一些支持句會比較豐富喔:d

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  6. 連接詞可以多加一點喔:>

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  7. the positive effects the new factory will have. 我覺得用bring比較好~

    if the resident had money,
    if the residents have money,
    這個是可能發生得事 所以不用轉成過去式唷~

    還不錯唷~

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  8. so that the economics of the small town will be better.
    >> so that the development of the small town will be better.

    economics是經濟學..

    好像沒什麼錯誤@@只是敘述有點普通唷
    因為每個人都要打一樣的文章
    如果平舖直述是會讓人感覺tiring的唷
    所以這類的文章可以想一些有趣或豐富的方式呈現:)

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